Sunday, December 23, 2012

Idiots on Skype in public places

Forgot my headphones this morning. Mistake. Now I'm forced to listen to this boner chatting away on Skype on the other side of the 'fishbowl' at Common Grounds. Shut the fuck up. Lack of consideration is perhaps the biggest problem I have with people outside of their physical appearance. Joking, sort of, but I'm working on that. The green tea is tasting a little funny this morning. I've tried adding some sugar and a little milk too, but nothing works. Who drinks green tea with milk anyway? Maybe it's cause I'm drinking hot tea while the air con is blasting cold air all over my business. A contradiction, kind of.

Lukewarm tea is some nasty shit. Hard to swallow. Kind of like eating bananas. At least that big ass chocolate chip cookie was delicious otherwise I'd be throwing a fit right now. I didn't even want the cookie, but they were out of cinnamon rolls. I'm trying to branch out these days. The Skyping moron in the corner continues babbling on about investing in this business and how he'll be in Singapore next week to talk in person. I don't want to know anyone's personal affairs, let alone how much he's investing and what degree of decision-making authority he will have.

This other guy on the far wall facing me is going about his business the way he should be. Quietly. He stares into his computer and is otherwise invisible. The guy in the middle of the room is less conspicuous wearing a tank top in such a falsely-cooled environment. He also keeps sniffing and is probably regretting his decision to wear such attire to the cafe this morning. The guy to my left is also quite quiet. I respect that. He gave a nod of acknowledgment as I sat down and that's it. Perfect. The lady to my right has pulled her table away from the others to such a degree she is practically demanding attention. For this, I disliked her immediately. She also seems to be rather angry and I am trying to avoid eye contact at all costs.

It's funny. I know when I'm judging like this, it's usually me who needs the attitude adjustment. I am out of whack, I've been out of sync with normalcy now for about a week. Can't eat anything without getting bloated, having stomach cramps and I generally feel like poo. Go figure since my plumbing is all jacked up. I actually have started feeling like I have a tumor in my colon as my digestive system has seemingly come to a grinding halt. Highly disturbing to think like this, but I can't help it cause my body is in such a funk. I'd like an ultrasound to prove myself wrong. Put myself at ease. And then maybe go on a fasting regimen to restore order. My body hates chaos and the inner turmoil is too much right now.

Back to the Skyping fuckbag. So, let me get this straight. We're expanding to Laos and Burma by 2016. And Malaysia and Singapore by 2017. Ok. Ok, fantastic. Can't handle it. Not because he's pretending to be somebody, but because we're forced to listen to him ramble on. Everyone else seems ok with it, but I keep looking around shifty eyed trying to get someone on my side. Someone who will stand up to this man and break his black-rimmed hipster glasses over his nose and shove them down this raspy throat. I just like peace and quiet. I can't help it. I come to a cafe to get away from the noise and here I am listening to it. And I can't get away!

It's ok, really. I'll survive. But if I see this guy out on the mean streets of Siem Reap later this afternoon, while this memory is still fresh, I might give him a sidelong glance and whisper douche bag under my breath. That's how aggressive I get. I'm missing my mustache at this moment. I feel like my glares would take on more meaning. But alas, that would take me another fifty painful days to get it back. Fifty days of anguish. I guess I'm ok without the mustache. I'll just eat another cookie instead.

The look I was giving, impressive I know.

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