Killing time over coffee

I’ve got five hours to kill so I’ve come to Café Coffee Day, an Indian coffee chain that doesn’t provide wifi, but does provide coffee concoctions with unique names such as Cold Sparkle, a nice mix of just the right amount of coconut milk ice blended with coffee.  I’m overlooking the main junction in McLeod Ganj, nestled in the pine trees just above Dharamshala and home-in-exile of His Holiness, the 14^th Dalai Lama and many other Tibetans. The square below, or rather, the clusterfuck of an intersection, is filled with people – namely Indian tourists, but also hippies, monks, Tibetans, policemen, a boy selling cotton candy and many an asshole who thinks that honking consistently every few seconds will enable them to maneuver through the mess that much faster and creating so much unnecessary suffering, at least for me anyway. I try to ignore it or have compassion for the driver who must be suffering even more than me, but more often than not, I want to strangle the motherfucker and drag his limp body through the broken window.

The main intersection in Mcleod Ganj enjoying relative tranquility.

Upon first arrival, I thought Awwwww, look at this cute place. Now I’m anxious to get out of here. I’ve seen the Dalai Lama’s temple, the Tibet museum, Bhagsu, the waterfall, the meditation centre, Dharamkot, I’ve bought some shit and I’ve gone to virtually every café that has wifi. I’ve tried the brownie, the cookies, the carrot cake, the chocolate, the muffin...there is nothing left for me to do here. It’s not that I want to sit on a bus all night, but my time is running out and I can’t endure the noise here anymore. Funny thing is that the noise here is nothing compared to the rest of India. Ahhhh well, at least there will be a change in scenery. And maybe a new brownie to try. Man, I wish I had some self-discipline.

I've always had a sweet tooth, but this is too much. I think I’m filling a void that would normally be consumed by consuming alcohol, chasing tail or good conversation. I guess I’m just over all that for the time being. I haven’t drunk much these past couple of months. I think I can count the number of beers on my two hands. One in India in the first 10 days, four in Nepal in five weeks, three in Tibet in a week and two in India this past week. Exactly 10 beers in two months. Mind you, they’re big beers, but still, 10 beers might be normally consumed in a week’s time rather than eight weeks. Why am I not drinking?

I didn't drink in India because a) nobody else was drinking, b) I had no idea where to buy beer and c) I had stomach issues. I didn’t drink much in Nepal because a) I was taking antibiotics, b) I had stomach issues, c) I was trekking and didn’t want to, d) it didn’t taste that good and e) I was taking a meditation course that asked us to abstain from intoxicants. And now, I’m abstaining again because basically there is no need to drink. Not much stress, no women and besides, the one beer the other night gave me a lasting headache. I’d rather go to sleep early and enjoy an early peaceful morning.

I miss seeing pretty women. Not that India is entirely devoid of pleasant scenery, it’s just that I have no desire to pursue anything. Too much effort. The Tibetan women are the most attractive, remind me a lot of the Hmong people in northern Vietnam for their colorful attire and bright smiles. Occasionally I’ll see an attractive foreign girl, usually from Germany or some other Asian country, but most of the time, I just can’t be bothered. Just give me the cookie. I’ll be back in the land of short shorts and smooth silky skin soon enough, albeit briefly, before I return to the states this summer. At least then, my eyes can consume some candy rather than my mouth.

I know I shouldn’t drink coffee. Again, it’s a matter of self-discipline, of which I have little. I like the taste and it makes me feel good momentarily, so I indulge. Finding happiness through sense pleasures! But later on is usually another story. I am even more irritable than normal, which if you know me well, you’d probably keep your distance. I hate being an asshole, I really do, but sometimes it just emanates from my pores as naturally as the scent from a rose. People can sense that shit. Assholes tend to smell like shit unless they’re given a good scrubbing. Maybe that’s what I need. Anyone have a loofah?

This guy just sat at the table behind me. Pulled his chair out bumping mine, sat down and threw his elbow up into my back. What the fuck is wrong with people? Pay some fucking attention. I’d let it go if he just said oops, but somehow even that is too hard for some people. Acknowledge when you make a mistake, people! Own up! And instead of me just brushing it off, I have to be confrontational. Less confrontational than some people and then it simmers inside. And then I passive-aggressively let it be known that I think he’s a dick. One day, one day I’ll look at him with compassion and see his suffering. And then I’ll probably wake up because I was in fact dreaming.

I’d love to sip on another coffee. Just to distort my senses and somehow seemingly enable me to get through the afternoon. Not that I need help, coffee just tastes good. A ginger lemon tea also tastes good and is good for you, but it’s not the same.  And I know that two coffees won’t keep me awake because I’m usually extra tired a few hours after coffee intake, which might bode well for the bus. And I tend to sleep even better on buses – somehow the motion helps to induce some zzz’s.  However, that’s not the case if I’m in the back and bouncing to the roof over every pothole. I’m not Superman, contrary to what everyone thinks.

Ok, that’s enough. Only three and a half hours to kill now. Time for some tofu and veggies. I’ll be good. And just being more conscious about it now, I’ll try not to let anything irritate me this afternoon. Hopefully I won’t have to hold my breath. I actually feel better now, this is a good outlet, thanks for listening. Bueller? Back out into the chaos, off to another café, see what happens between here and there. So many horns, so many cows, so many inconsiderate suffering bastards, I mean beings, to encounter. So much to potentially overcome.  I can do it! <cheering myself on from the sidelines>

In case you are wondering, I will be back in Southeast Asia on 1 June. Looking forward to it. I miss the aforementioned pretty scenery, the food and the overall vibe. Why not go back now? The flight has already been booked and besides, this is me just complaining now. I'll be marginally better in a few minutes after some additional sense pleasuring. And after Thailand, I'll be heading back to the USA. Haven't been home in nearly three years - I am a bad son, brother and uncle! Looking forward to it, but first, let me just be here now.