Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Dogs, bananas and blessed water

Chilling, quite literally, at Kiriya Cafe on Street 278. Just had the girl turn off the air conditioning. Every inch of my body was starting to stiffen up, well except the flaccid bit between my legs, which was shrinking to near microscopic proportions. But seriously, my neck hurts and my back is only now beginning to thaw out. I could almost use a massage to bring those areas back to life.

My iced coffee and chocolate roll only cost a couple bucks. I feel like I got more than that in air conditioning. Definitely got more than I asked for today. Well, I could ask for more lighting. I feel like I need glasses in this under-lit back room with pseudo-brick walls. My eyes are slightly blurry trying to compensate. I could also use a higher table on which to rest my laptop, but in coffee shops you tend to get coffee tables. My low back aches as I lean over trying to see the words until I rest my laptop on the arm rest, which is both more ergonomic and back friendly, but slightly awkward.

What is it with iced coffee and the need to add sugar? I can enjoy a cup of piping hot black coffee sans adulteration and it seems to stream through the veins and into the bladder fairly quickly. As it streams into the toilet, it's like you're having a second cup with that aroma permeating the air again. Weird. But with iced coffee, that doesn't happen. It's as if the ice kills off the smell and slows down the coffee as it attempts to race through your body. And the taste is less enjoyable unless you add sugar. For me anyway. Drinking a cup of unsweetened iced coffee is like drinking iced lemon water. Surely you can do it, but it's not nearly as enjoyable.

Ok, let's talk about dogs. Those little rascals. Man's best friend. Fuck dogs. If I were more carnivorous in nature, I'd probably try one. Grilled dog on a stick. They're not my best friend. I don't like my hands licked or my crotch sniffed. Nor do I like my ankles bitten. I was out buying bananas the other day and as I hung the bunch on my handlebars and clicked into first gear, the mangy little fucker was nipping at my flip flopped feet. I laughed as to not appear alarmed as the fruit man hopped up to yell at his mongrel for potentially chasing away a repeat customer. I won't go back there. Fucking dog.

Now, Let's talk about bananas while we're on the topic. I do not like bananas. Why was I buying them? I thought maybe I was deficient in potassium or something. They're supposedly nutritious and easy to throw on my muesli and put in smoothies so I thought I'd give them a second chance after many years spent avoiding them. It's like trying to eat a wriggling fish. Hard to swallow. The texture, the smell, the resemblance...I have to stop now before I throw up my breakfast.

Wow, it's been two hours and this is all I could come up with. Of course, I'm not just staring at my computer screen saying What now, what now? I'm back and forth between Facebook and other sites that distract me significantly from doing what I intended on doing, which was what again? Oh yeah, I think I was going to look at some job websites. And see what was going on in Phnom Penh over the next few days. Still haven't done any of that...

So, with that I best get to work. Or at least pretend to be productive. As I head out, like a fetus, let me offer you the following piece of advice. Be kind to your water. Say complimentary things. Kiss it. Bless it and whisper sweet nothings in its ear. We are mostly water, you see, and as we are what we eat, we will transform ourselves accordingly. I don't know, but it's worth a try, right? Check out this picture of water crystals that have been either loved or despised. Ponder that for a minute.


2 comments:

  1. Interesting. What are those sneaky Cambodians putting in your particular liquid of choice, these days?

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  2. Supposedly it was a Premium Kiriya Coffee from beans grown in Mondulkiri or something like that with a little liquid sugar to even out the bitter notes. The brown stuff, on ice, did fcuk my hsit up.

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