Teaching English, part II

My second foray into teaching English did not last long. Just three days. I didn't even give the school any notice, but they were kind enough perhaps because I was apologetic enough. I even got paid for the whopping six hours I put in before reaching my limit. I don't want to be a teacher anymore. That is no surprise. I've said it before and nothing has changed.

16 months had passed since I had worn my teaching attire, which was stored all of this time at a friend's home in Saigon. I didn't like any of it anymore. It reminded me of the past and I like a clear distinction between events in my life. But I thought I could do it again in a new city, in a new school. Pump myself up, pretend like this is what I wanted to do until I found something better. Get the ball rolling and some money in the door.

It is too hard to pretend. I pretended too much the last time and I couldn't exist as a fraud any longer. Besides, I got tired telling people I was an English Teacher. Embarrassed to say it. Embarrassed with myself for letting it get so out of hand that I'm about to lose my shit in front of a bunch of eight year old kids. I'd rather do almost anything else. I need change more than I need money.

Before the second foray began, I stopped in at language centers, sent off my CV to various international schools, brought a briefcase, an iron and a small ironing board. I had an interview with one center that seemed to go well. They hired me part-time. I had an interview with another school and proceeded to cancel the demo class they had scheduled the next day. Too much anxiety. Besides, I didn't really want to teach thirteen year olds and high school seniors. Couldn't imagine anything worse, in fact.

I started teaching at the language center. It was a popular center and paid alright, but not great. I was teaching kids and I had two levels in each class, which made things more difficult than they ought to be, but not overwhelming. The kids were fine for the most part. Part cute, part annoying. The staff at the school were also fine from what I could tell. I was not fine.

And so, as the anxiety built and I was less able to accomplish anything during the day while waiting for the two hours of class to begin, I decided to call it quits and once that phone call was made, I felt amazing. Like some tiger balm on a mosquito bite. Relief. The right decision was made. Abso-freaking-lutely. And since then, less than four days later, I've received two more calls for interviews, almost like a test to see if I'm sure. I am positive.

So, I am unemployed again, but not worried. I am determined to do something different even if it means being the first foreign tuk tuk driver in Phnom Penh. Let's hope it doesn't get to that. In the meantime, I am enjoying my new found freedom, but looking forward to longer workdays and bigger paychecks in the near future.