Christmas in September

What a day. It's like Santa snuck down the chimney and flew on without me even noticing. And it's only September! Can't wait to see what the next three months have in store. I woke up a bit late this morning and eventually wandered out and found a new laundry woman. She was sweet and offered to do it for $0.75 a kilo if I brought it to her regularly. A 25% discount for being a loyal customer. Yeah, I could probably do it myself, but then I wouldn't be able to stare at walls as long as I normally do.

So, after dropping off my laundry, I went and procured a new 20 liter bottle of water. And then, as if that wasn't enough, I rode my bicycle to P'sar Leu and procured myself a few more household items. A couple of sweat rags, a towel, a laundry hamper, a pillow and a broom. Just not having dirty clothes on the floor is huge. And let me tell you, having two decent pillows is also fairly big. You have no idea.

From there, I went and found a case for my mobile phone. It almost fit perfectly and was cheaper than every other option I had seen previously. Time to throw away the baby sock! I've been using baby socks for the past five months to protect my screen and it always elicits a few chuckles on the occasion I whip it out in front of a woman. Oh my God! Put that thing away!

Feeling the snow fall around me, but still feeling the warmth from the sun above, I was feeling pretty blessed. I got a pineapple and some chili salt to feast on later. My friend and I veered right at the river and found a local joint selling spring rolls. We overindulged in both the fresh and fried variety and for a couple of bucks, felt like I was walking away from an all-you-can-eat buffet. Except that this buffet was serving up the same thing and there was no air-conditioning.

Later in the day, I picked up my passport from the travel agency that was four days late in getting it back to me. Lucky I wasn't going anywhere. Anyway, I now have a 6-month, multiple entry visa. Then I went and bought more shit. Christmas! I got some electrolytes at the pharmacy and a tub of wax earplugs. They will come in handy. I went to the second-biggest supermarket in town and there, staring me in the face, was both bran fiber and psyllium husk. Like finding a brand new shiny bicycle under the tree on Christmas morning. Perhaps the best buy of the day.

At this point, my smile was contagious. Glowing down the street, I was guided by the only ray of sunshine while everyone else was caught under storm clouds. I went to the mini-mart, bought a couple boxes of condoms because I was feeling lucky and some new hair conditioner. It never looks good to just buy condoms. Mix it up a little. Cause I wasn't done, I stopped at another mini-mart and bought a tupperware container to store my fiber and psyllium. Don't want ants in my shit!

Oh I completely forgot. I also bought one of those USB dongles so now I can mindlessly consume what Facebook has to offer from the convenience of my bedroom. I got the dongle from Smart Mobile because they offer a couple free gigs per month for the first three months. After browsing for a half hour, I can comfortably say it sucks a dick. You might be thinking, Oh it's that good? That's not what I'm saying. It's terribly slow and feels like 1999. Waiting for that porn to fully download. Now, there is no excuse. Back in the day of dial-ups, it was understandable.

Anyway, thank you Santa. Even though you can't offer me a decent internet connection, I'll forgive you. Just don't forget me come December. I'm not one to get caught up with the mindless consumption of material things, but I could use a motorcycle, some sunscreen and a job. Either that or continuous influx of funds into my checking account. See what you can do. I'm anxiously awaiting your next visit.

Sunday bloody Sunday

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so the title isn’t original, but it is Sunday and I feel like shit so it’s somewhat fitting. I need something to eat. Soon. That pineapple seemed to eat a hole in my belly and has increased my irritability. My foot massage was good and killed a half hour, but then what? There’s nowhere to go without spending money. I hate that. You can only browse so many shops without buying something. I went to the mini-mart, pretended to look at a few things and then went ahead and bought the OFF!® without further ado. There’s nothing like a little DEET cologne. Chicks dig it.

I walked the long walk back home. I guess I could have taken a moto taxi, but that would have cost me a good 50 cents. I decided to walk cause I’ve tired of my yellow bicycle already. It’s an ugly piss yellow and usually I can at least flush that color away. Now I have to sit on it all day. I think I’ll buy a new one and sell this atrocity. That’s the closest I can get to flushing it away. Good thing I debated a good while prior to choosing yellow over orange. I am a terrible decision maker. There was no gut feeling, that’s the problem. And no one to ask for an opinion besides an overly biased sales clerk. Oh well.

So I have a new apartment and it’s nice and cheap, but just a little walk from the city center. Not a problem by bicycle, but walking is a drag if you’re back and forth like I am. Over the bridge, past the club to the right, go straight, turn first left, walk straight ahead, turn right at the first paved road and turn right again by the K2 inline skating facility. Follow the bumpy potholed road down approximately 50 meters, past the dead snake and you’ll see a gate on your left.  I’m the apartment in the middle on the ground floor.

I hate locking my bicycle in the shed at night. I hate unlocking and locking the gate when I go out too late. And I hate dodging the potholes in the semi-darkness, flipping up mud onto the back of my legs from my flip flops, which get stuck in the mud. I dislike biking this ‘road’ even more as gives me road rash and rattles my undercarriage. I’m sure it contributed to my recent blowout, which not only burst the tube, but completely fucked the tire as well.

But the apartment itself is nothing to complain about. Not for 70 bucks a month. I got a roof over my head and the fan is sufficient even only on the second setting. I thought I might sweat to death. Fortunately it’s not the hot season. The cold shower is alright even if I might crave a little warmth on occasion. I can deal. The constant sweeping I might learn to despise, but it’s better than walking on sand and carrying it into bed with me. I think I’ll probably never eat here as I’ve seen what a drop of sugar can bring and I don’t want to use that Raid again.

This morning or yesterday, I can’t remember, I woke to the sound of chickens clucking, roosters crowing, children crying, hammers pounding and the bass from the inline skate facility thumping. It’s only slightly annoying and probably not complain-worthy considering it was nearly 10 o’clock. And well, you get what you pay for.  I’m sure I’d get all of the above, minus the bass in other locations too. I have earplugs and an iPod and I just have to make sure they’re at the ready.

Thank goodness for music. Good music. Listening to Bon Iver and it’s soothing the tension in my brain. Maybe I need a cranial massage. Or a prescription. I think I’ve figured it all out. I have recently been self-diagnosed with Eternal Fatigue Disorder and Eternal Discontent Syndrome. There is no cure, just a lot of rest, a little booze and lots of short-lived, fleeting, momentary encounters with external sense pleasures. I seemed to have forgotten how to meditate – not that I was any good at it anyway.

I need a beer and a pretty girl to look at. Yeah, that’s it. Pretty sure I’m fooling myself, but someone convinced me that happiness comes from within and I’m hoping I’ll find it in one of those bottles one day. How will I know what it looks like when that day comes? Fuck, I’ll probably just drink it and not even know it was there. I really want to catch it in my teeth, pick it out and raise it above my head between my calloused fingertips and say You're mine now, bitch!

Whatever. It’s almost time to go out, I can feel it. Nothing more to say. Put on my slacks, button up my shirt and dance the night away. Kidding, next weekend is prom night. Tonight is just Sunday. A night on the town like any other night. A few beers will probably elicit a few yawns and the young night will be old very quickly. Unless the Universe has other things in store. We shall see. Tata for now.

The budget Tibet tour

I signed up for the 8 day/7 night budget Tibet tour, which still cost me a whopping $1000 and only included transportation, an English-speaking Tibetan guide, shared hotel accommodation and breakfast. The rest of my meals, drinks and anything else would be up to me. What was I paying for exactly? The tour itself was approximately $380, the visa for US citizens (thank you China) was a whopping $175 and the one hour flight from Lhasa to Kathmandu was an even more staggering $445! I inquired at numerous agencies in both Kathmandu and Pokhara and this was the best I could do.

I had a big debate with myself about spending this kind of money for just a week of travel, but I decided in favor of such a tour because I really wanted to see Tibet for myself, see what it was like under Chinese occupation and to experience being at such high elevations. These are things that just visiting a Tibetan refugee camp could not do, even if the Tibetan culture was better preserved there. I was also sandwiching the tour between a 10-day trek and a 10-day meditation, two relatively inexpensive activities, which helped balance my total expected monthly expenditure into something less objectionable.

Day 1 – Tuesday, May 1

We met outside the Tibet Tours & Travel office in Kathmandu at 6:30 in the morning. There were 16 people in our group, all roughly scattered around the same age as myself, which I found comforting. There were five couples and six single folks and our Nepali guide, who was to accompany us to the border. The 16 of us plus guide managed to meet at a local café for breakfast and tour debriefing before we departed in the bus for the Tibetan border.

It was nice to have a change of scenery even if I couldn’t see well out of the bus windows. We were going to Tibet! It took about five hours, if I remember correctly, climbing slowly alongside a river and past a small border village, which was slightly charming. We left the bus and driver behind, grabbed our luggage and proceeded to the bridge, where it was expressly forbidden to take pictures. In the middle of the bride a Chinese soldier checked our passports and visas, which had been stamped on separate sheets of paper. There was to be no special stamp in our passports.

Eventually we got through the bureaucracy on the Tibetan side of the bridge. Welcome to the People’s Republic of China. Everyone was Chinese and nobody was smiling, which really says nothing about the Chinese as this is the case with most border crossings. They searched our bags for any political paraphernalia such as books, Tibetan flags or Free Tibet t-shirts. Nothing was found as far as I was aware. Lonely Planet books were apparently also confiscated if found as there is a printed letter from the Dalai Lama and their maps don’t recognize Taiwan as part of China, as they shouldn't.

Once in China (Tibet) we boarded a new bus and were told that a landslide during the previous night was blocking the road and we would spend the night in the border town instead of Nyalam, the intended destination, 27 km down the road. This place was about as unattractive as border towns get, but fortunately without the touts and people trying to sell you something. It was also situated on a hill, whose road wound up and up and up and there was nothing really to make you feel like you might actually be in Tibet other than the prayer flags and various Tibetans, who seemed to not be doing much in relative comparison with the Chinese shopkeepers in the restaurants, supermarkets and hotels.

We ended up at probably one of the worst hotels and had dormitory style rooms, five or six beds per room with shared squat toilets, no showers and accordingly, no towels. The rooms were chilly at approximately 2000m elevation and they provided us with a hot thermos and some weak green tea. There were also heavy blankets on each bed and despite the less than desirable conditions, I slept well, cotton in one ear and my iPod in the other.

Day 2, Wednesday, May 2

We woke relatively late and assembled for breakfast in the hotel’s restaurant at approximately 8am. We had eggs, Tibetan bread and tea or coffee and were told, shortly thereafter, that the landslide was still blocking the road, but we would take the bus as far up as we were allowed. We were not allowed very far.  We were told it would probably be 5pm before the road was cleared and to return to the bus at 2:30pm to see if any news had unfolded. Disappointed, but aware that nature could derail our plans, we spent the time on the bus or on the side the road, reading, sleeping, chatting or listening to music and also trekking back down the road to the town for lunch and snacks.

Bad news. We were told we might have to stay in this shit hole another night. That was certainly depressing news as we had limited time and we were squandering it involuntarily in this boring, relatively unfriendly place that reminded me nothing that I invisioned of Tibet. We were told there were large rocks 15km up the road and they needed some heavy machinery to split them. There was a line of vehicles at the checkpoint, which at least made us feel a little better as it wasn’t just some conspiracy against the tourists. We were told we might be able to leave at 9pm and were told to return to the bus between 7:30 and 8pm.

Good news. After one more trek to the town below to procure provisions and kill time, we were headed back to the bus and could see the road had opened. Land Cruisers and buses were coming in so we began to run for the bus, but our lungs would not allow for such activities at this elevation. High fiving our guide, we got the low down on the situation and happily boarded the bus. We would go to Nyalam, our first night’s destination, 27 more kilometers up the windy road. It was already 8pm. It was decided we would wake up early the next morning to make up for lost time and get back on schedule.

The drive up the gorge was slow, but amazing. It is understandable, at least from this route into Tibet, why Tibet was so isolated from the rest of the world for so long. It must have taken a lot of money and a lot of time, not to mention a lot of lives, to cut and build this road into the rock. We would and wound up the gorge, over bridges, looking down at the river slowly getting farther and farther away and the snow capped mountains getting closer and closer with each slow kilometer up the road.

Eventually we reached Nyalam at approximately 9:30pm. Yes! Somewhere different. It was much colder at 3,700m, but we were much happier to be in a new place and see, even if it was dark, a new side of Tibet. The people seemed nicer as did the hotel and there were more shops, with cheaper goods in even greater abundance. It was too late for dinner as we unanimously agreed upon a 6am departure. I ate my Tibetan bread with some tofu I had procured in the previous town and washed it down with some Yak butter tea, a nauseous concoction that I can only imagine is an acquired taste. The hotel rooms were nicer, but still dormitory style with 5-6 beds per room, squat toilets with water on the floor and non-functioning sinks. Still no shower, but I was too cold to get undressed anyway.

Day 3, Thursday, May 3

We rose at 5:15am. It was cold and I didn’t sleep well. The high elevation wasn’t causing breathing problems, but it was preventing me from easily falling asleep. And despite wearing thermal underwear and having two thick blankets, I was still a little cold during the night. I have no idea how cold it is, but as it snowed briefly the night before, I would guess it was below zero. Brrrr! After a relatively unfulfilling breakfast of tea, coffee, eggs and Tibetan bread, we boarded the bus and got on our way. 

It was still quite dark and even an hour later, at 7:30am, not much could be seen from the bus as we continue up through this rocky, barren landscape with the occasional patch of snow. The bus is cold! My feet are freezing and I realize now that I underpacked and should have brought my trekking shoes and more pairs of socks.

Wow! This landscape is endlessly barren. Cold and lonely are the words that come to mind, but it’s fucking cool all the same. The road keeps going up and the views in all directions are yellowish brown in color, rocky and slightly undulating. We must be nearing 5,000 meters. The bus stopped at Lalung La pass, at an elevation of 5050m at a mountain of prayer flags. We got out to take pictures as the sun was rising on the horizon. After a few minutes, my hands and feet were frozen, definitely the coldest I’ve been in years and I happily got back on the bus.

Later we stopped at Gyatso La pass at an elevation of 5248m, definitely the highest I’ve ever been. More prayer flags dancing in the wind. We kept going and going with the driver going at a slightly uncomfortable speed, but he got us there in one piece. There was another high pass, approximately 4800m, but at that point, it was nothing special. We had lunch in Lhatse, 4200m, the first big town we reached and had a nice break. It was where we were supposed to stay last night, but after being there and seeing that it was rather unspectacular, I was glad to be moving on.

Eventually, after napping on the bus for the first time and relinquishing control of my fate to the driver, we arrived in Shigatse, 3950m, around 4:30pm. We checked into our hotel and were surprised to find a nice place. Shared rooms, but with all the amenities and considering the weather, we were very happy to have hot tea, a hot shower, thick blankets and a relatively quiet room. I walked around with Niko and eventually we ran into Nea. Shigatse is quite big and the Chinese influence is definitely here, but there are a great number of Tibetans as well. They are so friendly and jolly in nature. I am happy with nearly every interaction.

We found a nice vegetarian place for dinner with seemingly normal prices, finally nice to see that. Nice Tibetan fried rice and a bowl of vegetable noodle soup along with some sweet Tibetan tea (masala tea) all went down well and I’m stuffed, but still managed to put in some sweets from the corner supermarket. The streets were relatively deserted on our walk back to the hotel. Looking forward to a lie in tomorrow morning.

Day 4, Friday, May 4

Had to rise for a 9am breakfast this morning. Slept alright considering the elevation, but uncontrolled deep breathing every now and again was in effect. Had a strange breakfast, but at least it was different from the standard bread and eggs. At 10am we went to visit the Tashilhunpo Monastery, home of the 11^th Panchen Lama. Apparently there is some controversy about him, as he isn’t the true reincarnate of Buddha, but rather selected by the Chinese government to control the monastery. I have to say it got a little old looking at all the chapels, tombs and whatever we were looking at. Tibetans are incredibly devout with all their prostrating, turning prayer wheels, counting beads, reciting mantras and all their offerings: putting butter into the butter lamps and giving small cash donations.

We finished our monastery tour at noon and ate lunch in Shigatse as well as our bus was getting repaired. We ate at the vegetarian restaurant again. It was snowing. At 1:30pm we hit the road to Gyantse and arrived at about 3:30pm, checked into our hotel and met again at 4 to tour the Palcho Monastery. Apparently the majority of it was destroyed by the Chinese, but they still have some nice chapels and a huge wall to display a thangka, a large embroidered tapestry. I think. I might not be explaining that correctly. There is also an old fort on a hill overlooking the monastery.

On the walk back from the monastery we walked through a Tibetan neighborhood and took pictures of cows and kids and were invited into a woman’s home to drink warm sugared water and tsampa, barley flour mixed with sugar and hot water. She adorned us with white scarves, khatas, and brought out some food, which was nice, but we knew she wanted money and we obliged her, but didn’t stay long. It was fun to play around with the kids and greet the locals who always seem cheerful and curious about us. We found a cheap place for dinner - more noodles – and it was good, but still relatively unfulfilling. The soup was definitely yak broth based as I haven’t smelled something like that for years.

Tibet is fucking cold. I don’t think I could manage to live here even with the warmest winter clothing. Dry skin, runny nose and achy knuckles – all signs that I should be living in SE Asia – but it’s definitely still nice to be visiting this part of the world. It snowed a lot today and I am laughing at the tank tops and shorts in my pack that will most certainly go unworn. Thank goodness for the hot tea, recent hot showers and the relative abundance of random sweet snack foods that are keeping my belly warm.

Day 5, Saturday, May 5

Left Gyantse around 9am after a 7:30am breakfast, probably the best yet. We traveled quite a lot today passing village after village, scenic vista after scenic vista, yak after yak. We stopped in some place for a mediocre vegetarian lunch and were on our way again, bound for Lhasa. We arrived just after 4pm. Lhasa is quite the Chinese city – much bigger than I expected and more modern, way more modern than the rest of Tibet. Apparently 2/3 of the city’s inhabitants are Chinese. We got settled in our luxurious accommodation and quite happily ready to enjoy not being on the move for the next few days. Our rooms have electric blankets!

At about 6pm some of us assembled in the hotel lobby and found a restaurant where I had my first Lhasa beer, a relatively light concoction around 3.8% alcohol, but after a month of very little alcohol consumption, it was strong enough. We had a nice dinner, finally feeling warm at this low elevation (only 3700m) and enjoyed idle chit chat knowing we don’t have to wake up early tomorrow. Looking forward to some sightseeing and hopefully can find Tibet somewhere in this predominately Chinese city.

Day 6, Sunday, May 6

Had a nice breakfast and a couple cups of coffee to significantly distort my sensibilities. We had some free time in the morning to relax before heading to the Potola Palace where we were lead around like sheep only understanding about 10% of what the guide was saying. We only had one hour in the palace and couldn’t take any pictures. The whole of Lhasa feels like a museum preserving what is left of Tibetan culture. A bit depressing.  After the palace we went to Jokhang Temple, which was filled with devout Tibetans with their bags of butter and prayer wheels. I feel like we were in the way and as none of the religious figures mean anything to me. I felt like getting out as quickly as possible.

Overall, didn’t feel in the mood today. Tried some street food, took some pictures and tried to walk around, but felt all the streets were the same. Stands selling Tibetan souvenirs and jewelry and Chinese soldiers walking around everywhere. Ugh. In the evening we found a decent place serving marginal food. I miss SE Asian cuisine!! Tired of this food. Eating up sugary snacks like they are going out of style. Had to escape the dinner conversation as it was dominated yet again by the same person. Would rather be alone.

Day 7, Monday, May 7

Went to the Drepung Monastery this morning. Another monastery. Apparently there used to be up to 10,000 monks living here. And now only 400. The Chinese government only allow so many monks to practice and they are under tight watch. We saw some monks, chapels, tombs...I don't even know what I was looking at. Our guide is quite nice, but not very informative and leaves a lot to the imagination. I find myself getting more information on Wiki and proclaiming Aha! after putting all the pieces of the puzzle together.

In the afternoon we went to Sera Monastery, another formerly enormous monastery. We went there primarily for the debates, which were apparently philosophical in nature. Two monks sat side-by-side and another monk stood twirling his prayer beads in his hands and clapped his hands in the direction of the monk who was to answer the question. It was interesting, but there were so many foreigners taking pictures I don't know how they could not feel like they were just actors in a show.

In the evening we more or less had free time and I decided to do my own thing. I walked around and finally got my bearings in this central area of Lhasa. I looked at things for sale, made inquiries and in the end, bought nothing. I also went into various cafes, looked at menus, but never sat down. One cafe had coffee for nearly $7 a cup. Only stayed there long enough to laugh at the waitstaff who were waiting for me to sit down.

Eventually I found a place to have a small thermos of tea. Then I continued my walk collecting various bits of street food and ate back at the hotel while most of the group went out for a last supper. I just needed to escape for a minute. And didn't want to talk about the same shit we seemed to talk about over every meal. I liked my group, but I like doing things on my own from time to time as well.

Day 8, Tuesday, May 8

Thank goodness for the electric mattress pads! This hotel was luxurious by backpacker standards. It was quite cold at night, but the blankets did the trick. We got up at 7 this morning, ate breakfast, said some goodbyes and hopped onto the bus. We detoured to the bus station and then headed to the airport, which was approximately 60 km from downtown Lhasa. We had about an hour delay, but finally got going around noon.

I was quite surprised by the size of our plane. I was thinking maybe there'd be about 20 passengers, but it was closer to 150 and the plane was therefore quite big. It was a pretty smooth flight despite the delay and we did get some quality views of Mt Everest from the windows. It was also nice to finally feel warm again and shed some clothing. Next!

Rainy days, cheap booze and delicious curries

I'm pretty much only writing this so I don't have to look at the greased up bodybuilders in my previous post every time I look at my blog. Move it on down the page, please. It kind of disturbs me. I'm also writing this to kill an hour before going back to a bar up the hill to gaze my eyes upon a pretty girl. It'll be a more suitable time to imbibe a frosty ale and I'll also have the opportunity to slip into something more comfortable. It's happy hour and the beer is still outrageously priced at one dollar. Hell, I could go down to the beach and get one for 50 cents, but I guess you pay more for scenery.

I was on my way back from the pharmacy where I had just procured myself a new set of earplugs. Bright orange ones they are. My old ones, greasy and a bit sandy from when I dropped them on the floor of my bungalow the other night, were slowly deteriorating. In fact, I woke up this morning with the broken tip of one earplug lodged in my left ear. Oops. I ascertained the situation and decided in a foggy haze to attempt its extraction by inserting my tongue scraper along the side of my ear canal and somehow digging it out. Long story short, after about fifteen attempts, much to my relief, it came out and I inserted my iPod in its place and attempted to get some more shuteye. But that didn't work.

Anyway, I was on my way back from the pharmacy when I heard the siren's call of lonely barmaids. One lovely lady, three faceless figures and one ladyboy were all seemingly talking at once, however the ladyboy didn't seem happy. What's wrong with him? I asked. She didn't like that. Trying to ignore him, I continued my conversation with the aforementioned lovely lady trying to assess the situation before pinky swearing I'd be back soon. I don't want to find out what will happen if I renege on my promise. Pinky swears are serious over here!

I'm staying at @Home guesthouse here in Sihanoukville. Drop by and say hi if you're in the area. It's on Serendipity Beach Road. There seem to be a lot of prostitutes here, not that you'll see any of them coming out of my room. I might come out of their's though. Oh come on, have a laugh. Keep the faith. Some of these girls are at it all day and all night. Like machines. It's very interesting to see how these girls work and off-putting to say the least. Like a fly jumping from one turd to the next. Whoever offers the most bang for the buck...er...buck for the bang.

So, I was out last night at the Moon Shack indulging in a late dinner on the beach. Sitting on a slightly damp cushioned papasan chair with a mostly-watered-down Angkor draft and seeing what the night had in store. Ended up going to places I never would have gone to in my twenties, but now that I'm older and wiser I somehow find them entertaining. Dirty beach shacks offering free shots, $1 cocktails and cheap buckets open until the wee hours with mostly backpacker types liquored up in tank tops and flip flops. 

I went to JJ's first, had a shot and ordered a free whiskey red bull. She gave me a whiskey coke. After some subpar conversation and the exodus of nearly 80% of the female patrons, I ordered a whiskey red bull, actually got it and proceeded down the beach. I made my way to the Dolphin Shack, offering similar drink specials and offering a much better ratio of girls to guys. I was too late to get the free drink with accompanying flyer so I opted for another dollar red bull cocktail. The liquor is actually not as strong as the expensive stuff, which I think is a good thing. 

It was a happening place and with a lot of dollar drink specials and not too many bar options at this time, I could understand why. I stayed there for the duration, flirting, dancing, drinking, chatting and eventually heading home alone around 2am after talking to way too many ladyboys. But having said that, there were two who were quite fascinating and I'd be happy to partake in more dancing tonight. They were hilarious. I don't want to get naked or lock lips, but anyone with looks and personalities like those two could easily get befriended by yours truly.

I could not sleep last night. Maybe I had too much red bull. Or possibly it was the two coffees I had drunk earlier. That again. Why do I even bother with that stuff? Oh yeah, cause it tastes good. So I tossed and turned, rose to pee far too many times, inserted my earplugs far too deeply and ended up rising way too early after not nearly enough hours of sleep. But apparently it was enough. The red bull still in my veins, I went for a jog on the beach all the way to the end of Occheuteal Beach and back, stripped off my sweaty tank, ran into the waves under an overcast sky and bodysurfed all the way back in on a great, well-chosen wave. A great start to a mediocre day.

And now at nearly 8pm on a Friday night, I'm fading here on the balcony. It's almost time to sip some more red bull, but first I need to put on a different dirty shirt and get that beer, as promised. And then let gravity assist me down the hill to the Moon Shack where a curry awaits. And we'll proceed from there. It'll probably rain again, but can't let getting wet bring me down. Just more fun for the idiots who end up sleeping on the beach in their drunken stupor. I will not be one of them. Time to sign off. Just saying all is well. Believe me. Safe, relatively sane and slowly but surely, one step closer to enlightenment. 

Bodybuilding in Cambodia

God this picture is gross.

Here I am, practically inhaling a bag of boiled peanuts, still sweating on my newly made up bed, waiting for the air con to kick in after a massive workout at the local gym. Fortunately I have to shell the peanuts otherwise there would just be an empty bag and only vague memories. Trying to get some protein and pack on some lean mass. Resting on my bed trying to grow.

Please don't believe me. Those days are gone. I am sweating because I did just workout, but there was nothing massive about it. I am also eating peanuts, but not for the protein. It was what was available on my bike ride back to the hotel and will tide me over until dinner. Peanuts, papaya, fried rice, mango salad, beer....is that a good diet? I don't really care to be honest, it tastes good and it fits my budget.

I just found my third local gym. I'm trying to get in better shape after nearly eight months of the occasional pushup and some half-assed leg raises in the hotel prior to eating a late breakfast. My triceps were sagging and my hips were getting way too big and it's hard to look desirable in an undersized t-shirt. So, with lack of anything better to do in the midday heat here in Cambodia, I have sought out a place to get it all back. I'm pretty sure my mind is playing tricks on me.

The first place I found was a dinky little gym next to my hotel. It was $2 to use the gym, which was basically an assembly of rusty, ancient equipment that remarkably still functioned. I got a towel and it did the trick. The other locals sharing the gym were usually shirtless and quite lean and I would have gone topless myself if I wasn't a bit self-conscious about the relative flaccidity of my abs.

I went there twice and decided to seek out other options. I found another place, a proper gym, with a big sign saying so. The place was called GYM. It was a bit farther of a pedal, but so much better. Still no air conditioning or fans, but it was only $1 and had better equipment. There were more shirtless dudes, mostly friendly, and it was a cheaper, better workout. I just didn't like the relatively dirty floor, which easily found its way onto my drenched clothes.

I worked out at the second local place a couple of times and the novelty wore off. I decided to find a more upscale place, possibly a gym within one of the many five star hotels. At least then I might take to the treadmill or the exercise bike being in an air-conditioned environment. And I also might meet the right people who could provide possible job leads. It was a win-win really.

The only problem was that most of these "gyms" were less equipped than the ancient, this-machine-is-going-to-break-on-you local places and they were way more expensive. The best one had an enormous pool and a modern air conditioned gym for $130 a month. The others ranged from $50-110, which I don't really need to say is out of my price range. I'll just sweat it up at the local places, I thought.

I had heard of a few other local gyms and today I thought I'd venture out and find the one near the Crocodile Farm. I had been out a couple days ago and couldn't find anything that resembled a gym, but I found it helped to ask. I motioned like I was lifting weights and pointed in various directions and soon I was going over the bridge by the farm, veering a slight left and there she was, right next to the ping pong club. And I'm talking table tennis, not the ping pong one finds in Bangkok.

This gym was even better equipped than the last two and had even more shirtless dudes, some of them might even be in the picture posted above. Best of all, it was only 2000 riel. That's 50 cents. I got a towel, a bottle of water and away I went. There were at least double the number of folks partaking in muscle building and a couple of other foreigners. I ignored them as they did me, which seems to be the usual tendency in situations like this, for whatever reason.

The best feature in this gym, aside from the various bodybuilding pictures posted on mirrors throughout the gym was one piece of equipment that had a missing seat. A bicycle seat had been installed in it's place. I think I'll bring my camera next time. I have to say the people weren't as friendly, which is typical of meatheads. The more serious people are about bodybuilding there seems to be a greater likelihood they might be an asshole. But perhaps I was taken to be an asshole too.

What I also noticed in Cambodian gyms is there are practically no women. The first gym had a couple girls manning the front door, taking money and handing out towels. The second gym had one female patron and she didn't stay long. And today's gym had a couple women also taking money, handing out towels and guarding the beverage display. Not surprising considering none of these gyms had much cardio equipment or yoga classes and because they probably don't want to be gawked at. And they would have been, by me.

Anyway, I suppose I will continue to throw some weights around by the crocodiles until the next best place comes around. However, I doubt I'll find one better for that price. So, I've got my gym sorted. Now I need transportation and an apartment. I think I can sort out a bike tomorrow morning for around $40 and I hear an apartment for $100 a month is not unheard of. I'm not terribly enthused by the first three I saw yesterday, but I have a feeling things will get better. And then, all I'll need is a job. Slowly but surely...

Good morning Cambodia!

Here I am in Siam Reap, again, and I am loving it. Not in the same way one loves McDonald's, from the pit of one's stomach, but from the heart. It has the right vibe, a place I could call home for a while. We'll see. I just walked by a restaurant, there are many here, where a waiter was spraying Raid on all the tablecloths. What the fuck! Of course you don't want insects on the table, but is that really necessary? I stopped, eyes partially bulging out of my head and asked as much. He said they used placemats to infer that the poison wouldn't be in contact with the food even if it fell off one's plate. Oh...in that case. I won't be eating there, but makes me wonder what all the other restaurants do to rid insects from their tabletops.

As I walked the alley this morning between Pub Street and the street adjacent to the Old Market, I searched for a cafe, ideally with air-conditioning because I am weak. It is insanely hot for 10 o'clock in the morning. My clothes are clinging to my sticky skin, which is not a nice feeling, ever, but especially not right after stepping out the door in the morning. I just freshened up! Anyway, I found a "cafe" - just a wee restaurant really - and the relative silence and cool breeze along with the chilled coconut are a perfect combination to start my day. The ant on the tablecloth, which eventually ran onto my keyboard and possibly under the keys had me wondering, if only briefly, if perhaps the other restaurant had the right idea. Don't ask, don't tell?

Oh the breeze feels amazing. Let me tell you. My coconut is gone now, as is my stream of consciousness. Oh well, I guess coconut juice saps creative potential. I'll be more aware next time I decide to post to my blog. Instead, I will savor the breeze, enjoy the people wandering, skating, sweating and begging. Not that I enjoy the latter, but it is somehow entertaining. Actually, as I write this, a young girl on rollerblades mere steps outside the restaurant continues to ask for a drink. I think I've changed my mind. Still, it's a part of life here and must be accepted.

Time to change my room. I need air-conditioning. Time to rent a bike. I need wheels. Time to apply some sunscreen. I need to protect my skin. Time to get some food. I am getting hungry. Time to visit the orphanage. I need some hugs and smiles. Time to meet a girl. I need some company. Time to get busy. I am tired of being so lazy!

Back in Bangkok

What? Here I am at Coffee World in Siam Paragon in Bangkok. Again. The fourth time I've been in Bangkok this year. It is getting more and more familiar with every visit. The mall is slowly waking up around me and still isn't very busy for nearly noon on a Tuesday. It feels like the last two months in America have been a blur. Was I really just there? Amazing.

The coffee is better in America, I'll tell you what. And it's cheaper. But hey, it's one of the few things besides electronics that is actually more expensive over here. I can handle that. My toothbrush, razor and shampoo were on par with prices I'd actually expect in SE Asia. Can't find those in Walgreens at those prices. Anyway, they probably make versions for the SE Asian market that they wouldn't even sell on the Western market. And well, if so, that's fine by me.

My voyage back over the Pacific went relatively smooth. I hate saying goodbyes and so suffice it to say, that was the most difficult part of the journey. I arrived at SFO with plenty of time to spare and was able to relax a bit prior to boarding my United flight to Tokyo Narita airport. United was actually pretty decent. I was impressed. A lot of legroom, great entertainment options and decent food for an airline. The lavatory was big enough for a mile high orgy if one was so inclined. Usually they're so cramped it would be a difficult endeavor to even attempt to join the mile high club. I did look around, but it didn't seem that anyone else was interested. Instead, I attempted a few crosswords, listened to a lot of music, watched the movie Think Like A Man and tried to sleep as much as possible.

We arrived in Tokyo around 4:30pm local time after nearly 11 hours in the air. Breezed through security, had enough time to post an update on Facebook, brush my teeth and stretch my legs prior to boarding the last leg of the journey to Bangkok. Departure time was 5:50pm and the ensuing six hour flight to Bangkok was less pleasurable than the first, but still bearable. It seems the ANA flight was on an older Boeing and the legroom was more suitable for the standard Japanese passenger. Fortunately, it was a shorter flight and I was able to sleep a little, listen to more music and watch another relatively unmemorable movie.

We touched down at Suvarnabhumi Airport at 10:30pm and I hustled to Immigration. As I arrived, an airport employee opened the lane ropes to a whole new bevy of Immigration Officials just waiting to stamp passports. It's a rare and pleasant experience to breeze through immigration, especially in Bangkok. I did have a short wait at the baggage carousel, but that wait caused me to scan signs and I found the Airport Rail Link ran until midnight, which gave me sufficient time to get to my hotel without having to take a taxi. I got my pack, boarded the train, changed lines at Phaya Thai and changed again at Siam Square catching the last train of the evening at 11:58pm to my stop at National Stadium - the end of the line for me and for the train.

I was worried that somehow my reservation might have been erroneously taken, but after a quick pit stop at 7/11 for some water, I rounded the bend on Soi Kasem San 1, mentally crossing my fingers, found the gate to the Pranee Building still unlocked and a woman still awake at her desk upon my arrival at the cheapest accommodation available in this neck of the woods. I was scribbled into her book and proceeded to show her my passport, pay the 350 baht and take the keys. My knees ached as I headed up the stairs. It was just after midnight and I was happy to have made it "home" with so few, if any obstacles in my path.

As I came to the second landing, things began to look familiar. I had only stayed at the Pranee once before, in June of this year, prior to departing for the states. I had caught the first train of that morning to the airport. And here on this day in August, my return, I caught the last train of the night. I checked my key, room 34 and thought it might have been the same room I had been in previously. I opened the door and sure enough, my old flip flops were there on the rack outside the bathroom. I had asked the owner if I could trade flip flops as his fake Havaianas were a better fit, if not more worn than my undersized Hippos, that I had recently purchased in Nepal. He had surprisingly obliged.

Everything else was the same too, from the blue towels to the faded blue floral sheets. I avoided the dusty wardrobe, setting my pack to the side and unpacking only the necessities. I locked the door, chain included, took a shower, brushed my teeth, inserted my waxy earplugs, flipped off the lights and pulled up the towel-resembling-a-bed-sheet and slept relatively soundly until eight in the morning. And here I am. Back in Bangkok. Now what?