Let me start with the today's top hates. Get it over with so I can end on a positive note. They are not in any particular order other than the order in which they arise in my head.
1. Fucking flies. Not just those engaged in pleasures of the flesh, but all of those dirty motherfuckers. Especially those that are breeding and making fly babies. My hatred is especially intense when I have open sores and they are laying eggs in them. Too quick to kill unless you are the Karate Kid and that I am not.
2. Leg zits. What the fuck? Am I thirteen? Just put them on my face for fuck's sake. The last thing I need is spots on my leg, for some reason mostly on my left leg. Do I not scrub as hard with my right hand? I know it's hot and humid in Cambodia and even more so under the loins and in the hot sun, but still, sweating through multiple t-shirts on a daily basis is bad enough.
3. Waiting. I'm always waiting for some motherfucker. Even though you're not a motherfucker in real life, when I'm waiting for you, you are. I just hate waiting. Five minutes is not a problem, but fifteen or twenty minutes and I'm tapping my toes and verbally insulting you. Sometimes you might even be a mother fucking bastard, depends on my mood and how long I've been waiting.
4. People who don't respond to text messages. Now I don't really hate the individual, it's more the carelessness or the inconsideration of the individual. I know some people are busy and some text messages don't warrant a response. I'm not talking about those circumstances. I'm talking about sending a message that deserves a reply to a guy sitting at home masturbating to porn on his laptop. Annoying.
5. Repeating myself three times. I intentionally speak slower to the right audience. And use simple English when needed or speak like a goddamn pigeon. I really don't know the difference. That's not a problem. I actually expect to repeat myself. But when the person who should get it, still doesn't get it, that bothers me and I lose my shit a little. Fortunately, not into my pants.
And now for the loves. When I was a kid and I was angry I used to inevitably start off any given sentence with I hate him! or I hate brussel sprouts! To which my Mom always responded, You don't hate. And I'd usually counter back Yes, I do! And I do admit, to this day, I am still a hater, but I try to balance the love and hate, to some degree. So, here are the five loves of today - hope they won't all be related to food.
1. My new motorbike. I guess it's technically a motorcycle since it has a clutch, but it's so small and is only 110cc so motorbike seems more appropriate. Anyway, I don't know if I love the bike or love the fact that I finally got one. Way way overdue and now I can finally rest my groin from pushing too many pedals. I also love the process of getting it into tip top shape, from spending a few dollars here for this and a few for that. Slowly but surely I'll feel confident riding a clutch in stop and go traffic.
2. A good, ripe mango. Not all ripe mangoes are created equal, but when you get a good one you are absorbed into that moment. It also helps when it's mango season and they're extra cheap. Not much else to be said here.
3. An early morning gym session. I'm not talking 5 in the morning, that's madness. More like 7 or 8. That's early morning to me. I felt like crap this morning, but still went through the motions. It helps that my gym is only 50 cents a visit, the guys who frequent it in the morning are pretty cool and it's a mere 5 minutes away by bike. It also helps that it's a lot cooler in the morning and I don't need to sweat through my shirt and towel and drink a whole 1.5 liter bottle of water.
4. The service at the restaurant last night. First off, the lady made up a special table for one because there were none available. Then came the free bottle of water with dinner, free popcorn, a delicious meal and three waitresses asking me if I wanted more rice, which was also free. Restaurant was packed out yet they were all still on it.
5. Ingenuity. I saw a couple examples of this today, pictures of which should be posted below provided I didn't forget to upload them after typing the next couple sentences. There is a lot of resourcefulness in southeast Asia, stuff that most people back home wouldn't conceive of doing because they would just buy a new one. Whenever I see stuff like that, I'm intrigued by it. Another example not shown here would be a busted hammock sewn up in different colors. Looks cool and you're saving money.
Why not? Fix up the scissors with a bit of wire. Good as new.
At a motorcycle repair shop. Flowers planted in an empty coconut shell, which are sitting in an old motorcycle tire, which is hanging by an old chain. I want it.
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