I'm back

I’m back and nobody even knew I was missing. Two plus years later and I’m blogging again. About what still remains to be seen, but the point is, I’m typing something. Fuck actually writing anything on paper – that is so last century. Ok, where do I begin…

The last time I embarked on any major traveling was in late 2007. I was 31 years old and traveling alone to Southeast Asia. I was on a budget, as most backpackers are, and so usually opted for cheaper accommodation. However, after completing that journey I made a promise to myself that I would live a little more extravagantly in the future.

My standards for accommodation are not high. But they are higher now than back in 2001, when I first traveled around Europe. At that time, I was more willing to stay in a dorm as a way to meet fellow travelers and more importantly to save money. However, after three months of that I was over it – for good. As a light sleeper and not the biggest socialite it was a relative nightmare. Countless nights of snoring, being woken by some drunken idiot, people having sex or the worst of it, incessant itching caused by bed bugs.

So fast forward again to 2007. I was older and wiser and refused to save money by staying in dorms. Fortunately for me, accommodation was cheap in SE Asia and there was never a need to even consider sharing a double room let alone a bunk bed in a massive dormitory. Never again!

However, after those four months of traveling through Thailand, Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam, I still wanted to step it up a notch and live even less like a backpacker. In the future I decided, I wanted 1) my own room 2) a proper door handle and 3) a bathroom door frame that was high enough that I didn’t have to duck under to avoid bumping my head every time I used the facilities.

I only shared a room a couple times on my trip in 2007. Even at the time, I wondered why I was doing it. Did I really need to save five dollars? No. Did I really need to see this stranger in his underwear? Absolutely not. Did I really need to lose sleep because somebody was snoring or farting or flushing the toilet? No! Did I really need to be uncomfortable taking a shit in my own bathroom because I knew somebody was ‘listening’ just outside the door? The worst.

Having a proper door handle meant I was using a key and twisting a knob. It felt like I was going home. Having a padlock, on the other hand, basically meant I wasn’t sleeping in a proper room. I was renting a shed or someone’s garage. I was over it. I had a room for $3 somewhere in the north of Thailand and while it was thrilling to find something so cheap it was not thrilling to have plywood walls, share a bathroom, hear people partying right outside my door AND feel like a penny-pinching bastard. The truth hurts.

A low-framed bathroom door is annoying to everyone. Well, perhaps not to little people. I understand why door frames in Asia might be lower than Western standards, but I don’t understand why that’s the case in hotels as foreigners are often the main customers. Maybe it’s their little joke. When you wake up in the middle of the night having to pee you don’t always turn on the light or necessarily watch where you’re going. So needless to say, I’ve bumped my head a time or three. While initially growling profanities in the direction of the hotel, I’ve come to blame myself for just not being more aware.

So again, fast forward to July 2011 and the date of my most recent lengthy journey. I had already long broken my promise to avoid places with low-framed bathroom doors. It seemed unavoidable as even nicer accommodation options were occasionally outfitted as such. So I just decided to pay more attention and hope for the best.

As of this past July, I still hadn’t shared a room since my original vow and I preferred it that way. Unless of course I was traveling with a woman and then I would naturally give it some serious consideration. But let’s be serious – when was the last time I liked anybody long enough to even consider traveling with them? Yes, there have been women that I liked, but finding one to travel with is a different story.

Anyway, I like privacy, cleanliness and relative peace and quiet and don’t like to place blame on somebody else for my lack of sleep. It didn’t take long for me to break this promise as well. My fourth night of traveling and I was sharing again. In part due to miscommunication – no, I DON’T want to share a room – but also in part because when traveling as a group, it’s easier to know what’s going on and make decisions when you’re together. However, it’s still way better to not hear somebody snoring or hear somebody having digestive issues just a few meters away.

Finally, the padlock on the door issue. That promise was broken at the first guest house of my recent adventures. Oh well. My friends were already there and it was much more convenient to stay near them and as the room was actually decent – no need to cause a fuss over nothing. I still like twisting a knob though.

Anyway, after nearly five weeks, I’ve added some new annoyances. Preferably a place with no dogs. Of course, the asshole neighbor might have dogs, but I can’t control that and at least I can’t be angry at the people running my hotel. Also, a toilet with a working bum hose is nice. And a toilet seat goes a long way. Perforated toilet paper is amazing after using the non-perforated variety for a few days. Water pressure, shower heads that don’t dribble, bathrooms that don’t stink, bed sheets and blankets that don’t smell of body odor or contain somebody else’s pubic hair…I could keep going, but I’ll stop there. Time to write about something else.

love sharing my bathroom with other little critters!

broken toilet seats are better than no toilet seat - remember that next time!