Saiiiiiigon

Six weeks ago I moved out of my house not knowing when and if I would return to Saigon. Well, I knew that I would, but didn't know exactly when. So, I gave my notice and moved out of my place to comfortably have that option of traveling without paying rent unnecessarily. What a pain in the ass that was. Packing, eliminating non-essentials and hitting the road. And now, what an even bigger pain in the ass it is to be back looking for accommodation. Major pain in the sack.

But it is kind of fun to be a tourist in Saigon again. Staying in hotels in district 1, negotiating the price of the hotel, but this time in Vietnamese. That's right, biatch, I know what the price is. Being a stone's throw from some of my favorite restaurants and to be in a different place. Feels like I'm traveling, but I'm not. Just living out of a bag, minimalizing and perhaps being on the go again the next day. Well, that wouldn't be fun forever, but momentarily it's alright. In the meantime though, I am looking for a proper place to live and today I looked at a few places.

The first place was a proper dump. I told myself a long time ago I needn't endure living in such conditions. Place was properly worn out, however it definitely had character, which had appeal in and of itself. But I can't do it - it's not cheap enough and the ladies would definitely give it and me the thumbs down. It was close to work though and had an outdoor spiral staircase privately leading to the room two floors up. Cool, but also a potential deathtrap if going down those same stairs semi-inebriated.

The second place was back in district 1, close to the action, but too close to where I initially resided when I first came to Saigon. I need something new. It was interesting in that you had to walk through a salon to get to the room, but not something I felt I could do comfortably multiple times a day. I know it would be difficult to say xin chao and actually mean it after the novelty wore off. I liked the price, but not the privacy. Next!

The third place was in a relatively central location. I liked it. Right on Vo Van Tan and Cach Mang Thang Tam. Down a decent-looking alley...hmmm this was looking good. Close enough to work, close to the gym and close to the action. Pulled up to the place and a dog started going nuts. Didn't even need to go inside. NFD. No Fucking Dogs. It was a shame too cause it was the best place, best location and best price.

I stopped by another place this afternoon after a Phong Cho Thue (Room For Rent) sign caught my eye. Being close to work was the only attraction as the room itself was nothing to brag about. It was just interesting to think I'd be the only foreigner in the building and have practically no commute. But the price really wasn't good for such ramshackle accommodation. I'll think about it, I said seriously and only later thinking are you fucking out of your mind?

The last place I checked was going to be a newish hotel near an alley of expat guest houses, a place I had lived three years ago. But this place wasn't in the alley and thus, was different. It was also close enough to work and near the action in district 1. As I stopped my bike, the owner of the neighboring guest house, started a conversation. He appeared to be drunk, but friendly and speaking English, I thought why not engage this fellow.

Turns out, his rooms were only five dollars a night. FIVE dollars. Yes, you get what you pay for and you wouldn't want to bring anyone home, but still. Just for cheap digs alone, it was worth checking out the room. I checked it out and ruled it out, but not entirely. The owner's wife told her son it was five dollars and he screamed expensive! in Vietnamese and I chuckled to myself knowing that this place was probably only worth three.

In the end, I chose none of the above. If the price had included somebody bringing and unpacking all of my shit, I might be sleeping in one of the aforementioned places. Luckily for me, the price did not. And so here I am at another hotel, close to the action, close enough to work and better off here even if for another month, feeling fresh and new to Saigon. Feeling ain't going to last, so I better enjoy it while I can.

Siem Reap revisited

I already miss it. Four nights and it wasn’t enough. No time for the temples this visit - just walking around, lounging by the pool and enjoying the nightlife. The Old Market was the best place to buy souvenirs I’d seen since the night market in Luang Prabang. Cool stuff for sure - especially all the recycled wallets and bags. I couldn’t decide which wallet I liked best so I bought three different styles. And I didn’t know who to buy for and when I’d see them next so I didn’t buy anything else. Other than edible goodies.

The area near the Old Market with all the restaurants and bars was reminiscent of both Khao San Road in Bangkok and Bui Vien in Ho Chi Minh City. However compared to Khao San, it was much smaller with fewer backpackers abound, probably because most cheap accommodation was located elsewhere. That helps. Compared to Bui Vien, also fewer backpackers, a hundred times more classy and a more international feel, that due to the number of Japanese tourists and number of other languages I heard spoken. Definitely dug it. Nice vibe for sure.

The most lively street was Pub Street with nearly every other establishment having Anchor draft on offer for 50 cents a glass. Hard to beat that, even at the convenience store. You could sit nearly anywhere and take it all in over a frosty mug of local brew for fifty cents. Or you could go to the minimart and get a refrigerated can of the cheapest local brew with a tinny aftertaste and walk around and feel like a backpacker. It was an easy choice.

Perpendicular to Pub Street was the food vendor street, where all these tarped, temporary restaurants popped up and sprang into action at around four in the afternoon. Walking past in the evening you would get a sales pitch from nearly every person holding a menu outside of every stall. Fruit shakes for 75 cents to a dollar, fried rice or noodles starting at a dollar, a lot of BBQ - if you’re into that. Overall a great place for people watching, meeting new people and cheap eating.

Just at the end of the food stalls, assuming you had turned right at Pub Street, another street intersects diagonally. Looking to the left, one will see signs for the entrance to the night market and signs for massage nearly everywhere. Go down there. Foot, shoulder & back, full body, whatever massage. 15 minutes $1, 30 minutes $2, one hour $3. You might pay $5 for an air-conditioned room. And fish massage is also everywhere. $2-3 for 20-30 minutes plus a free beer or soda. I could do a 15 minute foot massage every day.

And then just across the river from the Old Market is the Hip Hop club, which to my recollection, didn't actually play any hip hop. But whatever. It was a scene to be sure and with no cover, a minor pat-down at the door and one dollar mugs of Anchor draft, it was a place worth going - at least once. Mostly Khmer clientele with the occasional foreigner strewn in, free back massage while you’re using the urinal – get your hands off me! – and slow dancing. Yes, slow dancing at Hip Hop. When was the last time you did that? Felt like a teenager again.

Of course, this isn’t the real Siem Reap. You have to get outside the center a bit and see the way most Khmer people live. Or see the incredible number of tuk tuk drivers on every corner hustling for a dollar. A dollar could take you nearly anywhere it seemed. Or if they were lucky, you'd commit to an all-day affair - perhaps to the temples or the shooting range - for a mere $10 or more, if you haven’t done your homework.

Anyway, back in Saigon now, but I know that Siem Reap will be revisited yet again. For the temples, for the beer, for the food, for the people, for the massage, for the culture, for the vibe. For all of it.

Owwww

Is it possible to break your ass? Because I think mine might be broken. Or badly bruised. It happened suddenly while romantically tubing down the Nam Song river in Vang Vieng, Laos. An iceberg taking down the Titanic, if you will. One second I was enjoying the late afternoon float conversing with a beautiful woman - a beer in one hand and the other in the water directing my course - and the next second my ass smashed into a hidden rock. I yelped out in pain, the beer flew out of my hand and the serenity of that moment was lost forever.

We had left all the lunatics behind. Most of the madness was still upriver, still imbibing free shots of mind-tingling Lao-Lao or some ludicrously cheap bucket of booze. It was nice to be beyond that with only a good buzz and good company. We were on a lovely river meandering through this valley surrounded by limestone karsts on either side and then my ass and my ability to enjoy the moment were both wrecked.

I thought it would be fine in a few days, but I was mistaken. The next day I rented a motorbike and thoroughly explored the surrounding area and the caves, lagoons, waterfalls and scenery it had to offer. It was great, except that most of it was off of paved roads and over pot-holed and therefore bumpy, gravel roads – not the best when you’re trying to recover from a bruised bum.

That evening, clearly not thinking straight, I signed up for a kayaking tour the following day. Although I didn’t end up sitting directly on the afflicted spot, I did manage to use muscles I apparently hadn't used in ages, which increased the overall pain in my body. Now it wasn’t just my ass, but my groin, lower back and arms, which only made me more irritable. No surprise really, it doesn't take much to do that.

The next day was a rest day - aside from the four hour bus journey from Vang Vieng to the capital city of Vientiane. And the next day as well, just swimming and a massage prior to the overnight sleepless bus journey to the south of Laos. And now, nearly a week after the incident and three non-ass-straining days, my ass still feels about the same as when it first happened.

We did nothing on the first day in the southern Laos town of Paxse - just chilled. However the following day we rented motorbikes and toured the surrounding area and ended up going about 180 kilometers in total. That didn’t help my situation. And the day after that, we traveled another 90 kilometers touring another area. Important trips to be sure, but unfortunately done with a bum bum.

And then an eight hour bus journey into Cambodia the following day. A ten hour journey to Siem Reap the day after and just relaxing for three days after that. So let’s see, that’s about two weeks after the butt-busting and I still can’t sit comfortably without feeling like maybe somewhere along the line somebody took advantage of me. A ten hour bus journey awaits for me tomorrow mornng - might just have this feeling for a little while longer.

I'm back

I’m back and nobody even knew I was missing. Two plus years later and I’m blogging again. About what still remains to be seen, but the point is, I’m typing something. Fuck actually writing anything on paper – that is so last century. Ok, where do I begin…

The last time I embarked on any major traveling was in late 2007. I was 31 years old and traveling alone to Southeast Asia. I was on a budget, as most backpackers are, and so usually opted for cheaper accommodation. However, after completing that journey I made a promise to myself that I would live a little more extravagantly in the future.

My standards for accommodation are not high. But they are higher now than back in 2001, when I first traveled around Europe. At that time, I was more willing to stay in a dorm as a way to meet fellow travelers and more importantly to save money. However, after three months of that I was over it – for good. As a light sleeper and not the biggest socialite it was a relative nightmare. Countless nights of snoring, being woken by some drunken idiot, people having sex or the worst of it, incessant itching caused by bed bugs.

So fast forward again to 2007. I was older and wiser and refused to save money by staying in dorms. Fortunately for me, accommodation was cheap in SE Asia and there was never a need to even consider sharing a double room let alone a bunk bed in a massive dormitory. Never again!

However, after those four months of traveling through Thailand, Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam, I still wanted to step it up a notch and live even less like a backpacker. In the future I decided, I wanted 1) my own room 2) a proper door handle and 3) a bathroom door frame that was high enough that I didn’t have to duck under to avoid bumping my head every time I used the facilities.

I only shared a room a couple times on my trip in 2007. Even at the time, I wondered why I was doing it. Did I really need to save five dollars? No. Did I really need to see this stranger in his underwear? Absolutely not. Did I really need to lose sleep because somebody was snoring or farting or flushing the toilet? No! Did I really need to be uncomfortable taking a shit in my own bathroom because I knew somebody was ‘listening’ just outside the door? The worst.

Having a proper door handle meant I was using a key and twisting a knob. It felt like I was going home. Having a padlock, on the other hand, basically meant I wasn’t sleeping in a proper room. I was renting a shed or someone’s garage. I was over it. I had a room for $3 somewhere in the north of Thailand and while it was thrilling to find something so cheap it was not thrilling to have plywood walls, share a bathroom, hear people partying right outside my door AND feel like a penny-pinching bastard. The truth hurts.

A low-framed bathroom door is annoying to everyone. Well, perhaps not to little people. I understand why door frames in Asia might be lower than Western standards, but I don’t understand why that’s the case in hotels as foreigners are often the main customers. Maybe it’s their little joke. When you wake up in the middle of the night having to pee you don’t always turn on the light or necessarily watch where you’re going. So needless to say, I’ve bumped my head a time or three. While initially growling profanities in the direction of the hotel, I’ve come to blame myself for just not being more aware.

So again, fast forward to July 2011 and the date of my most recent lengthy journey. I had already long broken my promise to avoid places with low-framed bathroom doors. It seemed unavoidable as even nicer accommodation options were occasionally outfitted as such. So I just decided to pay more attention and hope for the best.

As of this past July, I still hadn’t shared a room since my original vow and I preferred it that way. Unless of course I was traveling with a woman and then I would naturally give it some serious consideration. But let’s be serious – when was the last time I liked anybody long enough to even consider traveling with them? Yes, there have been women that I liked, but finding one to travel with is a different story.

Anyway, I like privacy, cleanliness and relative peace and quiet and don’t like to place blame on somebody else for my lack of sleep. It didn’t take long for me to break this promise as well. My fourth night of traveling and I was sharing again. In part due to miscommunication – no, I DON’T want to share a room – but also in part because when traveling as a group, it’s easier to know what’s going on and make decisions when you’re together. However, it’s still way better to not hear somebody snoring or hear somebody having digestive issues just a few meters away.

Finally, the padlock on the door issue. That promise was broken at the first guest house of my recent adventures. Oh well. My friends were already there and it was much more convenient to stay near them and as the room was actually decent – no need to cause a fuss over nothing. I still like twisting a knob though.

Anyway, after nearly five weeks, I’ve added some new annoyances. Preferably a place with no dogs. Of course, the asshole neighbor might have dogs, but I can’t control that and at least I can’t be angry at the people running my hotel. Also, a toilet with a working bum hose is nice. And a toilet seat goes a long way. Perforated toilet paper is amazing after using the non-perforated variety for a few days. Water pressure, shower heads that don’t dribble, bathrooms that don’t stink, bed sheets and blankets that don’t smell of body odor or contain somebody else’s pubic hair…I could keep going, but I’ll stop there. Time to write about something else.

love sharing my bathroom with other little critters!

broken toilet seats are better than no toilet seat - remember that next time!